February 5, 2009
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Liar Liar Pants On Fire…
The other day I was listening to a couple chatting and one person told the other person something I knew to be a lie… I was going to say an exaggeration…but no… It was a lie. I also knew where it was coming from, the person telling the lie did it to make themselves look better… Therefore making them FEEL better…
Now we have an ongoing situation with my daughter, lying… never anything harmful… just colorful tales, always based in fact, that she finds more interesting then the truth. She does this tale telling indiscriminately and without caring that there may be someone there who knows the actual truth… I am getting her to write her stories down, we’ll see how that goes. I’ll keep you posted on whether it works or not…
I’ve wandered from my point though… LYING… All of us do it or have done it at one time or another. I have done it, told a lie to make myself feel better…In fact, aren’t people using the internet more likely to lie since the people we are talking to don’t really know the truth? I mean, here we can be anything we want to be. Right? (For instance, I don’t really have a beard. shhhh!)
So my questions for you is.. When we tell a lie and it makes us feel better… WHY does it make us feel better when we know it isn’t the truth?
In fact, every time I pick up the camera, I am preparing to tell a lie. I’m getting ready to show you the world,
the way I see it…
Which isn’t always the way it is…
Comments (33)
sometimes truth is best left a little vague.
and I love lying cameras-esp if it’s my favour!
I could tell you tales about daughters and lies that would curl your nose hairs!
No beard?!?! Well, at least, for the love of all that is holy please tell me you actually resemble the Mona Lisa!
But, seriously…
Good question. Perhaps, the answer has something to do with our lack of desire to confront the truth. It isn’t always pretty.
And, when you solve the lying thing with your daughter, fill me in. Little One is going through the same little spell, and it isn’t that I don’t appreciate her creativity, but…
What is scary is when we believe our own lies after a while.
we are too fearful of what others think of us….we always want them to think better of us than we do of ourselves.
It is often hard to choose the right way if the wrong way is more interesting and more likely to save our butts, but lying has a price. When I was a school teacher I always made sure to read the story about the boy who cried wolf. He lost all credibility. If you know someone who is prone to lying, do you trust them? Do you see them as a person with integrity? Lying is selfish and cowardly. Lying can also be addicting. It can become a real bondage and put you in that trap where people roll their eyes and talk about you when you’re not around. ~~ I don’t think you lie with your camera by showing us how things look through your eyes, Angie. I think that is self expression. I do think when photos are tweaked and air brushed and enhanced and all that stuff they become less honest. Sure, it can still be a pretty picture. Maybe even a prettier picture, but I think some of the integrity is lost. (Just my personal opinion!) ~~ My grandma used to say “lying is the devil’s business.” The Bible calls him the “father of lies.” I don’t want to play his game. ~~ Sorry I blogged on your blog!
I always feel sleazy when I tell a fib, Doens’t make me feel even the slightest bit better. I guess that’s why I try hard not to fib. Though..I WILL ALWAYS fib about my weight…….lolol
Mornin Glories …… I use to be very wary of people here…but I’ve come to the conclusion that the majority of people I communicate with are really real….bearded Mona or not
I also think some people who lie do it because they think that’s what you want to hear…. or need to hear….. ie….Hunnie does this make my butt look big? I mean what the hell do you say 
and then there are the compulsive liars…it’s a sickness for some….and then some just tend to exaggerate…sound like Is? I think your great for encouraging her to write her tales down…GOOD JOB MOM…..What’s that saying….believe half of what you see and none of what you hear….
…however….I don’t think I’ve ever told a lie and felt good about it….of course I’m old and my memorie isn’t what it use to be….ilym
Well…there is the drivers license thing….everytime I renew they ask if all the information is the same….and I always say yes it is…..(the original information from when I was 21 – yeah right – I don’t feel bad about that one)
There are people who my mom used to say” take everything they say with a grain of salt” which means it may or may not be the truth. Sometimes we lie to keep from hurting someone’s feelings as well. I love the little boy who has choclate cake all over his face and his mom asks did you get into the cake and he shakes is head no and says no all the while licking his lips. LOL
Don’t really think what the daughter is doing is lying, sounds more like embellishing the truth. All great writers do it!
I wonder. like Bud, if she is just trying to take a little “creative license” with her stories and life! I think you’re wise to have her write the stories down. Btw, I really DID see a bearded lady, recently! LOL
Kathi
I haven’t told an outright fabrication in ages, on the internet or anywhere. It doesn’t make you feel better in the end. I think that’s what most of us learn when we grow up. We tell some lies to look cool as kids but realize that it’s too hard to keep them straight and it feels wrong to have done it.
Now I have omited certain truths from my blog, that’s for sure. And I do that in real life. And tell little white lies of the ”oh I love your haircut” variety. But I consider those more polite than the truth. I certainly wouldn’t want a brutaly honest friend. I’ve had them at times in the past and it’s just too hurtful.
or tell her about a girl who told the truth right after she told a lie,”I don’t know why I said that -I never went to Europe but I would like to.” Young adults want to try on someone else’s life and try things out.”
I have trouble remembering the truth, I certainly cannot remember lies!!! I stick with the truth, I can live with myself and look myself in the mirror!!!
I like to see how others view the world and seeing it through the camera lens just makes it more lovely! I did learn to do photography when all you could really do was to crop a photo, it taught me to pay attention to the things I see through my viewfinder! Its also taught me to appreciate the beauty of a straight out of the camera shot!!! Sometimes its best to be happy with what is, and leave what is not to the fiction writers!!!
I read awhile back that if you get stopped by a policeman and he asks, “do you know why I stopped you?”, you are supposed to say, “no officer, I don’t”. Well, if I get stopped I know it’s going to be for speeding. I know that, but I’m going to lie and use the suggested answer because if I say, “yes, I was speeding”, then that’s my admission of guilt and I’m as much as saying, “go ahead and give me my ticket”. I don’t think that’s such a bad thing but since you’ve brought it up and I’ve had to really think about it…..maybe I’ll just slow down. I like your portrait and can’t call it a lie – it’s an artistic interpretation. Peace
dang, that’s deep
i blog and share to be silly. so yes, some of my stories are exaggerated and embellished upon. i don’t think anything’s wrong if it’s all in good fun
I think your daughter is just engaging a rich inner life. even white lies created to make me feel better, make me feel kind of gross. unless i am writing fiction. i write fiction for the pure joy of lying =0P
I would like to set the record straight. First I never lie. I don’t have to. I know everything and I am never wrong. Secondly I do make up stories, because I know everything and everybody else needs me to explain things in terms they can understand.
However, if I were to start lying, then nobody would ever believe me again and then I wouldn’t be able to make up stories. I like to tell my stories with creative twists, using colorful language and misleading my audience by utilizing their own misperceptions, only to reveal the truth through the entire telling. does that make sense? Here is an example of such a story… http://www.xanga.com/Aloysius_son/640315600/item/
Seriously though, explain to your daughter the importance of seperating the truth from fiction, if not in her words, in her own mind. It is one thing to play with words and mislead for entertainment, it is quite another to mislead thyne own mind. Good story telling is a remarkable and rare talent. Common deception is all to prevalent in our society and eats away at the fabric of justice and freedom.
Having her write her stories down is a brilliant stroke of parenting. Encourge her to write them as embellished as she likes, but also keep her mindfull of the the truth, and more importantly keep her grounded, morally, ethically and legally with a keen awareness of her own skills.
Truth is the best policy! My wife is always saying I’m to gullible with my on line friends! They are living a cyber life the truth doesn’t mater. I just don’t believe that. Have a great weekend girl!
I think little girls tell tales to achieve what they can’t in other things – attention, the spotlight… I don’t think it is just a method to make themselves feel better. The lie is more often used to shift blame, avoid responsibility and punishment. The little girls across the street taught my sons to lie. Funny thing was, and is, they are not very good at it. I can still tell.
I don’t know why we lie. Usually lies have a tendency to eventually be found out…
We have man at work who just can’t help lying.One day I told him thatRod Stewart played Torquay in 1989(to see what would come back,cos he’s notorious for tales).H e answered,”yeah I know,my sister went!”Beware, your tales will find you out! Rod sadly has never played Torquay,not in 1989 anyway!
Good question and good point! Hope you have a GREAT weekend Angi! Thanks for the “lies” through your camera…those are some I LOVE! ((HUGS))
My husband believes you should never let the truth get in the way of a good story. There are times when I agree, like when it actually is just a good story. He lies all the time for entertainment but he has a sterling character and would never cheat anyone.
When my sister was younger…she went through a phase of compulsive lying to the point where my mum couldn’t eve distinguish what was true coming from her. I guess you just need to teach them the situations where lying is not right…but being vague with the truth…now that’s another thing and not technically lying.
xx:)
What the eye sees through the lens is perception not a lie. At least that is what I believe. Lies can sure backfire and what a sad way to attempt self esteem and seek recognition.
Great POST.
How about another circular entry???
Amberley
It’ s hard for me to tell a lie , Ang ! It is not in my nature ( I am sorry but it is not a lie !!
) I prefer to say nothing ( but this may be a lie too in not saying anything we know ) . You see , this is complex !!
Encouragements for the garden to come.
Love
Michel
I think the way your handling the situation with your daughter is awesome! Kids just do that you know, it is part of the growing up process but when it is a grown up doing it… YUCK.
Lying is a pet peeve of mine. It’s funny, I hate lying so much that last night I was petting my friends dog (I love dogs) and I said (in that voice we use on dogs and babies) ‘Oh you are just my favorite doggie in the whole world’ and then suddenly I felt guilty because it isn’t my favorite dog, obviously I love my dog more. And I thought, I just lied to this dog, I wonder if this dog knows I’m lying. Why am I lying to a dog? ….. teeeheee. Then I said shut up chrissy, just shut up. My head never shuts up angie… anyway, yeah lying sucks.
What Beth said and about the photo: Yes that is a lie. The real world is 3D and the camera only presents it in 2D. Big mess but we accept it. On top of that we embellish with lens perspective not to mention what can be done electronically.But this will become a chapter if I don’t stop now. I think the lies one need to watch are the: Did you? when you know the answer and you get a surprise back. But colorful tales… OK
I can’t lie to make myself feel better because I have overactive guilt. I even feel guilty for things other people do, ridiculous really!
Sorry to be such a late commenter. I am having issues … again. I promise to blog about them though.
P.S. Beards are sexy!
I think it is rooted in our need to caring too much what other people think about us and not enough in feeling good about ourselves.
I think folks get into lying because it sort of becomes a web doesn’t it? First they tell one lie and then need another to cover that one. okay, that’s my 2 cents ;o)