November 18, 2008
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What is enough?
This morning I trained the new delivery driver how to slice and bag bread. It’s not a job he will normally do, but knowing how it’s done will help him do his job better.
While we worked we talked.
I learned that he is from Traverse City and that he has one sibling.
I learned that he had worked on farms and at a feed store.
I learned that he has been married and more recently divorced.
On his arm he has a tattoo of the helmet, gun, boots and dog tags of a soldier, I asked him why.
I learned that he had been in the army for four years and had been discharged because of an injury he received while serving in Iraq.
I learned that he had been dressed in full body armor when he fell from a vehicle while under fire.
I learned that his back injury is operable and he is hoping the government will fix him and let him back into the service.
I learned that he had been deployed to Iraq for one year and during that year had lost 23 of his friends…
I said “Thank you.”
He said “I never know what to say when someone says thank you, I guess, your welcome?”
I said “I never feel like saying thank you is enough, but, your welcome works.”
I learned that even if I don’t think about it, even if it doesn’t touch me daily, there is a war going on and that there is a human cost.
I learned that just saying thank you will never be enough.
What would you have said?
How do you show your gratitude to someone who’s protected your freedom?
Comments (68)
Wow, what a story!
Sometimes thank you is all we have. Although I think our government needs to care for everyone of these guys/gals and the price they paid for our freedom, it might be costly but not having them wouId be far more costly! .
I think I would have just reached over and hugged him.
wow, i dont know if I would know what to say either. all I know is war is really hard on a person especially when you loose you friends in battle.
Mornin Glorie….you know Ang – so many people don’t say anything because they don’t know what to say…. You on the other hand asked him about his life and thanked him…sometimes that is all there is….you did good…..ilym
I think I would feel and do just as you did. Nothing we can say is really enough thanks.
Kathi
I really wish there were stronger words than just thank you…
you’re gonna make me cry, you punk!
Thank you is enough if you mean it.
But you can also give to the their vets fund…Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America
https://secure.democracyinaction.org/dia/organizations/OpTruth/shop/custom.jsp?donate_page_KEY=736
I’m like you, I say thank you and mean it, but it always feels so inadequate.
I was going to make some witty comment when I saw your blog title. But I think I’ll just keep quiet for this one. :salute:
I often think about how I don’t really have any personal connection to the war….don’t know anyone personally who has served there. That makes it hard sometimes to understand the brutal reality of it. With something like this, though, you never know when you will come face to face with someone who has a VERY personal connection to it. You were right to thank him – I’m sure he appreciated it a lot.
Sometimes, “thank you” is all you can say. There will never be words enough, but those two say it as best as we know how.
As a Vietnam vet, I would have saluted him, before and after I shook his hand, and called him brother.
I don’t know I would say, but I think a genuine thank you is great enough.
Oh wow this story brought cold chills!! I would have said the same. As you know I have those who have served in my immediate family. They always appreicate the “Thank You’s”
Thank you does seem so inadequate, doesn’t it? But I think he understood what you were trying to say.
Thank you so much for posting this.
You did good girl! Often words just are not enough,they fade oh so quickly, like the old saying out of sight out of mind.
*hugs* as I told someone the other day when they asked me that very question… sometimes all a veteran needs is someone to listen. You will never know how great a gift you gave that man just by listening to him. And by blogging about it so that the many others who read your site can just for a moment understand what you already get… that is more of a thank you than the mere words could ever be. So thank you! It helps!
It’s hard to know what to say. We want to say THANK YOU, it comes out thank you, but even our boldest THANK YOU is never enough for all of what our brave soldiers do for us daily.
Somwhere between WWII and Vietnam, I think that we lost a lot of how it was shown to be thankful to our soldiers. In WWII we sacrificed with them. It wasn’t to the same degree as putting our life on the line like they did, but they knew we cared deeply about them.
By Vietnam, we were spitting on them when they returned. How grateful is that? Not very! Not very at all!
Now we are so spoiled that we just don’t know what to do anymore. How sad.
So we’re left with a simple thank you, and a prayer to keep them safe.
I would say thank you also. I’m not sure what else there is to say?
Nothing is enough, but thank you is a good start =0) Great post.
Saying thank you is a huge acknowledgement in a world that usually doesn’t even bother to ask—you even listened. Thank you for sharing!
I think “thank you” is the right thing to say; and it is also important to make sure the government DOES take care of those veterans who suffered, got injuries, or need to get the benefits they were promised. I hate this war and think we should have never gone to Iraq, as many Americans do; but we absolutely cannot ever blame the soldiers who served in it for the decision that wasn’t theirs to go there in the first place. They did their duty–and did it (and are doing it) well despite crappy circumstances. We who didn’t serve or sacrifice should honor theirs, keep our country’s promises to those who did, and say “thank you” every chance we get.
“thank you for everything”
thank you for writing this post.
The longer we are in Iraq, the more soldiers will die or become disabled. As time passes, it will touch more lives until as in wars past, everyone will personally be touched. Thank-you is the best we can do in person. The other things we do are support veterans benefits and ask our senators and representatives to do the same.
I think you did it just right.
and I’m glad you shared it with us. A good reminder.thank you.
God bless our troops:) Growing up surrounded by all branches of the Armed Forces in VA, I have a deep respect for our servicemen and women. They work hard and often go un- or-under appreciated or down right disrespected for the sacrifices they make so people here in America can sit around and complain about us being at war. War is the reality of the human existence and I’m proud to know those who have stood up for what is right and good and just.
Great post!
My dad is in the army and I’m surrounded by people daily who’ve served. It’s kinda odd really, I’ve been around so much that I take it in stride. Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself that they my neighbors are all serving my country.
So I’ve never actually thanked anyone in the service, although I’ve definitely given out some big hugs to friends returning from being overseas.
Amazing post girl……so true….yeah ~ thanks for writing this post.
Wow, amazing post. Very touching, and I don’t think enough people actually realize how thankful they should be for the U.S. military.
you said it perfectly, Ang!…whenever i see someone in uniform, i make a point of thanking them for their valor, and service…it’s the right thing to do…coming back from our last plane trip, Laurel and i started the entire crowd applauding, when a group of service people disembarked…it caught many of them off guard, but i could see the appreciation in their eyes, for the recognition…i like Beth’s suggestion (go Beth!)…donate, people…it’s a damn shame that so many are abandoned to their injuries, psychoses, and financial woes, once they return home…good post, sweetie…hugs, animal
Thank you for this post. It is very powerful
@WinsomeONE - Smart.
To Angi – Thank you for writing this.
i tell them thank you all the time and that i’m am proud of them…
I don’t want to downplay at all the issues and questions you’re raising about talking to servicemen and women. But I’ll tell you what I love about your post. You must be an amazing listener! How much you got out of that guy in just a short conversation. You’re amazing.
@ideaguy - It’s so funny… when I started the bakery I said to the baker that Tyler, one of the young guys who works there, might not have enough money to move to Colorodo and since his parents were both laid off they couldn’t help him out much… She said His parent’s are layed off? He wants to move to Colorodo? lol They had worked together for two years and she didn’t even know that he had a brother… Anyway, I am a good influence on them, they used to call the customers the green truck guy, the crossiant guy, or the crazy bike guy (long story) Now they know that they are Chad, Mark and Bruce. I’m pretty sure they think it’s a good thing.
@angi1972 - And that, Angi, is Kingdom work. But one thing –Bruce is the crazy bike guy?? That’s great.
@ideaguy - HA! I didn’t even put that together until just now… I don’t think he’s crazy they do… He rides his bike to work everyday, from Suttons Bay into TC and then home… that’s about thirty miles. That isn’t the crazy part… the crazy part is that he starts in APRIL and just stopped LAST FRIDAY! It was 30 degrees outside Friday! lol anyway, he is quite proud of the fact that he put less then 40 dollars in gas in his car this whole year. lol
That is a tough question, but saying thank you just may not be enough. Perhaps saying sorry for all those noble lives that have been lost as a price for preserving our freedom may be a bonus.
Thank you is perfect and nothing can ever be enough for what they are doing.
Sometimes saying ‘thank you’ is really enough. The men and women who defend our country are my heroes. I wish I could say ‘thank you’ to each and every one of them.
The best thanks you can give a vet is to be his (or her) friend. Herkyeng and I were at a WWII vet reunion not long ago. We took one vet, Jack, for a 20 mile jeep ride. Jack loved the ride. He loved every bumpy minute of it. Somehow, just showing you care is enough for these guys.
Hugs and cookies seems to be getting there…
If you are in line at a fast food joint or something, and there is a soldier behind you, pay for his item. One time I was at Jamba Juice, getting a juice and a guy in uniform was behind me. I gave the cashier my gift card and said, “I want to pay for his stuff.” The stupid cashier told the guy who had paid for his drink and pastry. But I must admit I got all fuzzy inside when the soldier came up to me, snapped a salute and said, “Thank you.” But never, NEVER take thanks from a soldier. They are the ones who are putting their lives on hold and on the line, so that you can go around and live your life without fear of an invasion and living under some foreign government’s rule.
To answer your question…Nothing is enough. You can only do as much as you can.
I would definitely say that thank you is all you can say. As long as it is meaningful, it will always be enough.
i dont know what else i would have said…
awesome post ang
Oh Man Angi! Yeah, thank you just doesn’t cover it. No idea what I would say! Thanks for sharing this!
(Hey, you DO remember me don’t you? LOL! Missing you!) (((HUGS)))
I would say ” you are a courageous man ” or simply ” you are a Man! ”
Love
Michel
great story, you did the right thing in my book.
What a great post. I would have said the same thing. Your right-thank you never seems like enough…
Being touched by the military in some form or another my entire life (Dad served 30 years, just recently retired this year; brother is in, both grandfathers were in, uncles are in, cousins are in, my aunt is in, etc. etc. etc.) I completely understand how hard it is to show your gratitude to those who are so selflessly offering their lives for this country. I’ve been known to grab the hand of a soldier I do not know and just repeat over and over “thank you, thank you, thank you” … good thing he wasn’t weird about it. I ran into a soldier who was released because of injuries. I met him at the beach and he was taking photos all the while walking around on crutches (I cannot for the life of me remember what his injury was but I know it was permanent). I smiled at him and he stopped and talked to me, I ended up giving him a hug before he walked away. Sometimes all it takes is a smile. You don’t necessarily need to say thank you because then that puts them in a position where they feel they have to say something. I saw a commercial recently that showed a group of soldiers walking through an airport and a lady used to sign language to say “thank you” to them. Somehow or another they all knew what she was saying and so they are smiled back at her. I think that’s a really cool thing to do but then you risk them not knowing what you are doing… It is easy to forget day to day that there is war raging on the other side of the earth and there are Americans losing their life. There are American families here in the US who are aching to see their loved ones. Waiting for that next phone call or letter in the mail. I was an Air Force wife for 5 years (we are now divorced) and it was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever experienced. Once 9/11 hit, our lives changed completely.
Great post!
My brother is in the military and so have many others I know from my family or friends. I’ve been known to randomly hug a person if I find out they’re a soldier, but it doesn’t always go over well. Usually a simple “Thank you” is appreciated, but some soldiers don’t like it at all because of awkwardness or personal reason. It really just depends on the soldier or veteran.
Thanking them is a nice standard and just go with that. Even if it’s a little awkward, that’s okay. It’s usually appreciated by soldiers and their families!
recommend by cre13.
thank you and a hug(if okay) is all we can do.
OMG. deep post. Sometimes, it is the heart. I mean, just that you took the time out of your”box” to be nice is already awesome. You listened. WE can all pray. I think some things communicate even more than words. But those were great for what you could do. Thanks so much……glad to know this post. give him our best!
“Thank you” is very powerful when it comes from the heart.
Just thanks.
Amazing post. You did good. What we tend to forget is that every veteran, whether they have served in battle or in some other function, is still a veteran and they deserve our gratitude just for a willingness to serve. The risk is always there.
Wanda
(a proud military wife for the last 30 years)
I think a simple ‘thank you’ is appropriate.
thank you is good. i would’ve said thank you, but he (and others who serve) don’t have to say anything back
that man is a hero
In the same way I guess, put in that situation. As sure your thanks made him feel his job over there was worthwhile, shame more don’t do it. Good on you lady.
Heart rending and poignant in its message Angie.I would have probably said, ” God bless you, and your family for the sacrifice you and your colleagues have made in this war. Thank you for being a soldier and protector.”
Mornin Glorie…..have a great weekend!!!! ilym
I wish I could believe that he and his comrades in arms were defending our freedoms. I have an unsettling feeling that instead he was a victim of the war machine that enriches the few at the expense of many. His bravery and sacrifice are not without honor but his government may be. I hope we the people do right by him by getting him the medical attention he needs. He’s earned that much and more.
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