March 15, 2008
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Reciprocity
Reciprocity–1: the quality or state of being reciprocal : mutual dependence, action, or influence2: a mutual exchange of privileges; specifically : a recognition by one of two countries or institutions of the validity of licenses or privileges granted by the other.
When you do something for someone, do you expect something in return?
Comments (34)
I don’t know that I exactly “expect” it, generally when I do something for someone it is because I want to show that I care, am listening, and so I do whatever little thing that I can to show this.It is my choice to do so…sometimes we all just need something like that….a random something that shows it. So I try to give it when I can. So no….I don’t expect recipricoty in that I expect something in return….the world shouldn’t work THAT way, I don’t think. Giving doesn’t mean getting….in the same sense that you gave to begin with (unless there is a prior agreement that things will work that way….in THAT sense…..a prior arrangement of the terms and someone not coming through on their part….then yes…..then I would expect it)….generally, I do not expect to get back for giving to anyone. I do things because I like to. It makes ME feel good, and I hope also makes the person feel good as well…..so no……when I give…I certainly do not expect to be given in return……unless it’s again…..under the terms of a prior arrangement, or ….okay….I’ll admit…..around the house……I feel here….like when I go out of my way so often, that Jay should do things like that for me, too. So…the bottom line…..no–is my answer…unless it’s a prior arrangement sort of thing….or a husband.
hmmm…that’s a good question. From my child, I never expect anything back. But, for instance, from other parents, I’m mindful of favors exchanged. You took care of my kid last time, now I’ll take care of yours kind of thing. I guess that’s what you’d call reciprocity. While I’m always mindful of returning favors, I don’t usually consciously expect anything back when I grant them others. The most basic thng I expect from others, strangers, friends, or relatives is they be descent.
BTW, I loved the Queen in that movie, and even still, the reciprocity number, which was my favorite..
no I never expect anything in return…that would make me selfish and make me look like I only do nice things because I want something. I’m all about random acts of kindness.
Honestly I usually don’t…defeats the purpose I guess. But on the other hand, if I was in a bind and they found some stupid excuse not to help me, I guess I would be a little miffed.
It sounds horrid, but yes. Sort of.
Kind of like, I do this extremely wonderful thing for you and at some point, you will reciprocate. I.e., I spent a torturous afternoon with friend’s ladyfriend so he could watch basketball in peace. Thus, he will let me borrow his car today. =)
Depends on the extent of the favor, and how much I am in need. If I were a billionaire, giving $1k to someone would not amount to much on my asking back. But right now, if I were to give someone $1k, I’d expect them to babysit my kids for several months!
I find it very hard no to expect something back at some level. It doesn’t mean a I expect an euqual favor back form that praticular person. sometimes I do, but I really try not to. What I do hope for though, is to improve my karma, or to feel good about myself.
most of the times i don’t expect anything in return. in fact, sometimes i don’t want them to reciprocate because then i start to feel weird even though we are ”even”. i guess i just like to give.
I usually do things for others for the sake of helping where I can. If someone chooses to reward me for helping I won’t refuse. An example: After the first hurricane in 2004 (living in FL at the time) I cleaned the downed tree limbs out of my neighbors yard because she couldn’t. She was 80 or so years old and suffering from cancer, with no one around. I was working in my yard and then asked her if I could help her with hers, without the thought for reward. She did surprise me by presenting me with a gift card to Lowe’s a few weeks later and another thanks for helping her out and saving her the cost of hiring someone.
it depends. I don’t really like to keep tabs and usually don’t, but there are times you are just keenly aware you are “owed” and that feeling is hard to shake.
No not necessarily. I enjoy the satisfaction I get from doing random acts of kindness. I also believe in Karma, so if you do good things for others, good things should happen for you. Usually works too!
Have a great weekend!
Alicia
Alright alright. I know I you. You didn’t have to blog about it.
Submitted my tag, we will see how it goes!
Yes I do. Maybe that is why I don’t have much friends. But seriously, the least I ask for/expect is a smile from that person. There has been many times in which I have done something for someone and the next time I see them, they act as if they don’t even know me! Sheesh!
But I did something out of kindness/someone is in need, I do not expect anything at all.
Later,
Gina
yeah. i want money, bitches!
just kiddin’.
Absolutely not…..I really don’t like it when people try to repay a favor. I just wish they would pass along a favor to someone else.
Nope, I’m a firm beliver in giving without fanfare and paying it forward….
I don’t usually expect anything in return. Sometimes yes I do, but most often I just give to give. Also, I love Queen Latifia, she is the most fabulous woman! So pretty, smart and talented. I love her in Chicago, what a great part. But then everyone was faboo in Chicago. :o)
@dingdongdingbat -
@AllieMcNally -
I am a big believer in Pay it forward and random acts of kindness.
it’s funny i was just thinking about this last night. it was kinda one of those quiet times of reflection where i was getting to know myself better, and thinking – geez, i am a self-centered person, i gotta do things for others more. but i think it’s normal to at least get a “thank you” when you genuinely act in a way to help somebody else. it’s funny because some people, like the mentally ill that i work for, do understand gratitude and some don’t. but those that do it’s like a surprise, a very pleasant one.
@johnybkim - I agree a thank you is always a nice thing. Sometimes I can’t say thank you enough.
Generally not…I really like giving…Have a great weekend…Rainy
I love that movie!
And no, if I do something for someone it’s because I want to. If you do something with expectations you will always be let down… The saying of more happiness in giving than in receiving I have found to be true…. Enjoy your weekend!
Not usually,but it pretty much depends on the person. If they are not making much effort to help theirself,then there’s going to have to be a little give and take to get much from me. Have a wonderful weekend Angi.
not at all. but its nice when it happens.
yes, we can.
hope to see you there.
Yup when I do ‘cart duty’ and haul all that food into the house then I expect lunch otta the deal.
ryc: I know, they’re great… if you get the chance to see them live, take it. : )
It depends on the person. I feel like sometimes blending of two people’s energies influences my response or more accurately my reaction.
I will say that yes, I use to expect something in return which was very dysfunctional and have learned to give when I really want to give rather than out of “obligation”. When people demand, I tend not to want to give.
Good question – depends on the person. I do always try to lower my expectations so I can stay OK with people around me, but that doesn’t always work.
No. Expectations ruin relationships and squash happiness. Better to give without strings. If that’s possible
Weeeeeeeelllllllll, a ‘thank you’ is always nice!
Hope you had a good weekend, Angi!
Hey – so you’ve inspired some thought in me, I think I’m going to pay homage to your post.
)
I try not to but maybe I do.
I don’t mind giving without getting… most of the time. It does bother me when people do something and then they expect something in return… of course in a relationship there has to be give and take, right.
I have no idea what I am talking about…. LOL!
I am glad you dropped by.
Hugs, Tricia
I don’t expect it, but I like it when it happens.