CHECK ME OUT!
(More to come later. Ang)
This year one of the things I have promised myself I would do, is pay more attention to me. thus my other two resolutions (see prior post) I’m sure I will have to pay attention to succeed at those.
It isn’t that I let myself go, just that I’m not aware of myself. I walk around in a haze, taking care of what needs to be done and not paying attention unless it’s absolutely necessary.
This became horribly apparent to me when I went to the doctors office before Christmas and found out I had lost twenty pounds. I LOST TWENTY POUNDS? Are you sure this scale isn’t broken? I had weighed myself first. Then the nurse did it again and just to be sure we checked on another scale.
Yup, I had lost twenty pounds and I hadn’t even noticed… One of my close friends asked “How could you not know you lost twenty pounds?” It’s quite easy actually especially when you aren’t paying attention. I wear clothes that don’t fit me… Their all at least a size too big sometimes bigger… All of my pants were cotton drawstring or sweats and I wear t-shirts.
So basically it slammed home that I had stopped paying attention to me… I had stopped checking myself out in the mirror before I left the house, just grabbing a baseball cap if I needed it… I had just stopped in general. In fact the only time I looked in the mirror was when I was brushing my teeth or hair and then I wasn’t ‘t looking at me… I was looking at my teeth or hair.
So the first thing I did when I got home was look at me… I mean I really looked at myself… Hey I didn’t know I had a freckle there! Wonder when that showed up? Oh I remember this boo boo… It’s a shiny white scar… that’s cool.
Then the next thing I did was polish myself up… I forgot that a girl needs to do that once in awhile just to feel like a girl… so all polished and preened I headed to the store and I bought jeans! Not my old baggy jeans with holes in them and a worn out waste band for working in. Jeans… the kind that let the world know I have an ASS… The kind that will let me know I’m losing weight so I can enjoy the full weight loss experience… the surprise was nice, but I feel cheated of each small accomplishment that you should get along the way, like a loose waist band.
SO now It’s into the first month of the year and I polish myself regularly. I’m trying to find clothes that are flattering and make me feel good although to be honest the t-shirts all call from my dresser drawer “Me! me! I’m easy! I’ll keep you comfortable and you can hide all of the gifts God gave you… No one will notice you if you wear me.”
That’s right no one will notice me… It was a horrible side affect of not paying attention to myself that I also didn’t want anyone else too. Some of my friends may remember when good old Ang here went into shock a few months ago when a very attractive and YOUNG man hit on me in a store line… Yes, I would say shock would be the word to describe how I was feeling.
TO BE CONTINUED…
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