I have become the Great Doomsayer. Yes it’s true. It started out with the basic “Don’t run with that stick! You’ll fall and poke your eye out!” and then went on with more… “Keep your hands in the car if we have an accident they could get cut off.” And  “Wear your helmet on that pogo stick you might fall and crack your head open!” 

Fall and crack your head open and poke your eye out  are probably the most common prophetic doom sayings and I thought they all had to do with the mother in me but it’s now gone a bit too far. We were at my parents yard sale the other day and a kid was running back to the car with his newly purchased toy and joy in his heart,when I noticed that his shoe was untied. I looked at my mother and said ” He’s going to trip on his shoe lace and smash his face into the pavement” And guess what…

He did…n’t. But I said it. I’m a sayer of doom not a gaunter that it’s going to happen  And by far the most disturbing doom and gloom announcement I made for myself.We went to an all you could eat Chinese buffet with sea food where they had oysters on the salad bar and I thought there is food poisoning waiting to happen. You’ll be throwing up all night if you eat those, talking to the big white telephone… I didn’t just walk past them or ignore them or just not eat them, I stopped and contemplated the fact that they where a bad idea.

I feel like that Saturday night live skit with Rachael Dratch you know waa waa waaaaaa.

Any way I’m hoping this entry will purge me of my dreary outlook on life. I guess I better go now all this typing is going to  give me carpel tunnel syndrome not to  mention sitting in front of this computer  it’s probably sucking the energy right out of me. I  really think all this reading you guys are doing is going to cause you eye strain. Don’t sit too close to the computer you could go blind.  I think  that’s all for now my tales of woe are at an end. 

I just remembered. Charlie has a field trip tomorrow to the Ausable River I can’t forget to tell him to stay on the path and not go in the bushes he might get poison ivy.

YES! This is the day the world was blessed with me.And don’t I just keep on giving.

Tonight is Isabelle’s bridging over, she says goodbye to being a little daisy and becomes a brownie. She’s super excited because she gets to sell cookies now. I’m not sure that she fully understands this does not mean she can eat them all,.

Any way that’s all I have planned to do on this day of days… National holiday worthy day. 

I went to a friends house this weekend for their annual mosaic weekend. It was great fun. Their are five sisters and they all invite their friends to their mom’s house and have an art group basically. Anything was game there were kids running all over screaming and once in a while they would come in and say I want to do a stone or a tile, They had bowling balls and boards tiles and cement mushrooms broken dishes and ceramics galore. Any way it was fun to see how creative everyone was being I think we should do it at Mom’s house. Notice I didn’t say my house. Maybe during the three weeks D comes up. Something to think about. I’ve got all the stuff. Plenty of it.

Okay enough rambling. It’s nap time for Cooper and because it’s my day he seems to be taking a long one. His gift to me? I think I’m going to doze myself.

So Mother’s day was okay. I didn’t feel well most of the day so after church I did lock myself upstairs of course the kids and Ben were with me most of the time, Charlie has decided he likes Monk, and they all let me take a really long nap. It was an alright day.

Okay so I started this weekend off on a bit of a manic bent. I did laundry, got rid of tons of dump day stuff. I think I’m finally coming down. On Friday morning I remember thinking man I wish I could bottle this feeling. But now I just feel terrible, kind of sad with impending doom undertones. I’m not sure the manic stuff was worth it.

Today was dump day. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this concept it’s when the community gets together on a single day to dispose of large items or things that won’t fit in your garbage bin. As we sat in line looking at all the trailers lined up waiting their turn to foist their goods I had a twinge of guilt. Could I have Recycled anything we were getting rid of? With some elbow grease could I have dropped any of it at the goodwill?

And I came up with this answer…No. But hey I had to give the guilt moment some consideration. I mean I am after all the one who occasionally has to throw out the milk jug because I forgot to rinse it.  I’m new to this recycling stuff. Charlie and Isabelle are really getting into it. There’s nothing like a seven and almost six year old to spur one on.  Enough Maybe I’ll get lucky and Ben will let me lock myself upstairs tomorrow so I can watch the Monk marathon. Just shove some food under the door. It is Mother’s Day after all. I know it won’t happen but a girl can dream.

In Heaven before we came to Earth I think we lined up at large tables and registered for the things we wanted to be in life Sort of how you first register for college.  The tables probably contained such categories as FAME, FORTUNE, or perhaps FAMILY, and MARRIAGE  way on down to things like GOOD HAIR DAYS, and LUCK WITH AUTOMOBILES.*

Of course probably everyone wanted to be famous or rich or have a life of ease so we probably had to sign up for things like EARLY DEATH, or LOSS OF FAMILY and possibly things like ALWAYS HITS RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC, or TENDENCY TOWARDS SPILLING THINGS ON SHIRTS. 

We probably even could have gotten more detailed like when these things would come to us like LOVE LATER IN LIFE  or EARLY IN LIFE or even BEAUTY IN CHILDHOOD  or BEAUTY AT ADULTHOOD. **

Anyway the table possibilities are endless sometimes I think about what tables I attended and hope that my tendency to drift mentally didn’t let me short change myself.Of course ADULTATTENTION  DEFICIT DISORDER may be something I signed up for.  My course registration  is something like this I imagine although I’m sure it will change. After all we’re always starting new semesters and periods in our lives.

ADULT ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER {ha ha}

FAMILY   LOVE  MARRIAGE  CHILDREN  HOME

CREATIVE THOUGHT  GOOD HEALTH 

OCCASIONAL INNER PEACE 

AUTOMOBILE KARMA {GOOD}  GIFT OF SHORT LINES***

EASE OF FORGIVENESS   A SHORT MEMORY  A LONG MEMORY

OVER WORRYING  OCCASIONAL OBSESSIVENESS

SELF PREOCCUPATION  CONSIDERATION OF OTHERS

APPRECIATION OF PARENTS****

LOW SELF CONSTRAINT

STUBBORNNESS   HUMOR 

I know my list has more on it but now I’m getting bored with it. Did I put down SHORT ATTENTION SPAN ? anyway I’d like to know what you guys signed up for. My sister got BRAINS and AMBITION. My Mom probably has PATIENCE WITH TEENS and GREAT LAUGH down on hers while my Dad I’m sure had PATIENCE WITH TODDLERS  as well as LOVE OF NATURE on his. Of course theirs may have flipped on their timeline. My friend Heather put down GREAT FRIENDS as well as BRAINS and BEAUTY I’m sure. I think she also stuck INCREDIBLY THIN on hers. Probably that line was too long for me so I went to the SHORT LINE list instead  and hit the STRUGGLE WITH WEIGHT list on my way out the door. That’s okay I got on the MULTIPLE ORGASMS list, I use this to console myself. I hope my Dad Doesn’t read this. Anyway what’s on your list?

* I definitely got on this list. It’s not that I get great cars but that if something bad is going to happen I’m lucky enough to be in a good place for it. Like when my clutch went out at the top of a hill and my mechanic’s garage just happened to be at the bottom so I just coasted right in. Or the time my family and I were going thru a small town in Utah with nothing else within fifty miles and the tire fell off of the car we were in just as we were coming into town. We had just come thru Zion’s Park and were going up and down mountains on wicked switch backs but the tire waited until we were in the safest possible place… That’s what I call good car karma. I have many more examples but I can hear the yawns.

**I think you could ask people like Tyra Banks or Julia Roberts about these as being obvious examples of course I can’t think of anyone who was truly beautiful as a child and lost it as an adult. Maybe Liz Taylor now there’s a list example. She was on the fame and fortune list but definitely on the unlucky love list although she got the marriage list to a tee. And then there’s the long life list but she forgot to get on the good memory list.

*** Lines always seem to be short for me and if their not I usually can find someone to talk to in them to pass the time so they never seem to take  long.

****This is one of those time related ones. I’ve always appreciated my parents but at sometimes in life I think that you have renewed realizations or new understanding depredate on things that happen in yourown life.

The recent fish food incident brought to mind another event that could have scarred my daughter although she seems to be going on with no noticeable effects.

My children have always had open door policies. If the door is shut they feel it should be open. This really didn’t bother me much when they were younger but now it causes issues so I have learned to lock some doors at certain moments, one of which is the bathroom door.

When Isabelle was three I was in the bathroom taking care of the thing you usually take care of in there. when the bathroom door opened and Isabelle poked her head in I cried “EEK!” which is my usual response when my privacy is invaded in that room. Isabelle giggled and slammed the door. I could hear her laughing outside the shut door and knew she was going to open it again. I finished my bathroom business,quickly flushed the toilet,and jumped up to hide behind the door. Just in time,  my daughter opened the door,paused then shouted “Mamma” and ran to the toilet ,clutching the sides and leaning her little head into the bowl she yelled “mamma” again. I started laughing hysterically. Isabelle turned her worried face towards me and quickly took on a look of disapproval reaching over and hugging her, I  tried to explain , while laughing so hard  tears were running down my face, that there was no way a person could get flushed down the toilet. 

I know it’s cruel but  really I had no idea that was the direction her young mind would take. I was simply hiding but in retrospect it makes sense…where else was I going to go.